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My first deep dive into "narcissism" led me to some information which went opposite what I learned in my culture. I dove because I longed to understand many in my life who seemed stunted by this problem. I also wondered (and worried) if perhaps I suffered from it. 

The primary fact I came to know is that narcissism is not a self-love problem...but instead is more of a self-loathing problem. 

Lacking knowledge of this, and other, fundamental principle (s) causes damaging cycles to be fueled and worse, continued.

My second (and current dive) leads me to even more and different info, which gets to the heart of what is needed broadly in my culture, my family and too within myself. 

Essentially, the inability to regulate the right brain emotion of shame is what causes NPD. 

For those who are learning to feel healthy shame, it helps to know:

1) It's good and necessary to feel it

2) We're designed to feel it and get back to feeling peaceful and joyful within 90 seconds by the time we're 4 years old

3) Others have felt it and survived 

4) If we've reached a certain level of maturity, ("level 2") we can learn to feel it and bet back to peace.

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~Kate Mazur

January 8, 2020