All of this is possible because of the support of my husband (the Tall Guy) and my friend Michelle, who is also a Life Coach. You can connect with here here through Unencumbered Life Coaching.
Below are links to the materials and resources mentioned throughout Life Beyond Narcissism Part 1 & 2 Podcasts and in Video 1, 2, & 3
Learn about affiliate relationships here.
Below are more materials hubby and/or I referred back to again and again as we live beyond narcissism.
A substantial fraction of the people around us suffer from personality disorders. To cope, they distort both their reality and ours. Their behavior can be baffling and puzzling, and worse, they often abuse those closest to them. The author presents a new and effective way for people to understand and recognize the three of these disorders that often lead to abusive behavior. Describing each using a single dynamic - an underlying motivation - rather than a list of behaviors is an easier way to grasp and deal with these disorders. He then describes the psychological defense mechanisms that stabilize the distorted world created by the disordered, and explains how substance abuse adds fuel to the fire of disordered behavior. he also offers the latest thinking on the prospects for improvement with treatment, and a realistic perspective on the likelihood that the disordered will choose this path.
Do you know someone who is overly arrogant, shows an extreme lack of empathy, or exhibits an inflated sense of entitlement? Do they exploit others, or engage in magical thinking? These are all traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and when it comes to dealing with narcissists, it can be difficult to get your point across. So how do you handle the narcissistic people in your life? You might interact with them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one—so ignoring them isn’t really a practical solution. They're frustrating, and maybe even intimidating, but ultimately, you need to find a way of communicating effectively with them.
Disarming the Narcissist, Second Edition, will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll also find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist.
This book will help you learn to meet your own needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. This new edition also includes new chapters on dealing with narcissistic women, aggressive and abusive narcissists, strategies for safety, and the link between narcissism and sex addiction.
Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.
Why is this relationship so hard? It is so invigorating to know that we don't have to stay stuck. Even if we're not the one struggling with narcissism, we can change the way we relate to the people who do.
Find out if the stress in your relationships with family, friends, or at work is unknowingly caused from narcissism in yourself or others... Narcissism is actually much more common than we may think and, in reality, most of us have some of these characteristics.
You Might Be a Narcissist If... was written by two psychotherapists and a psychiatrist with decades of both personal and professional experience with narcissism. It is filled with many interesting-to-read stories taken from the authors' or their clients' lives that clearly demonstrate examples of narcissism. A Narcissism Questionnaire and practical suggestions are given for dealing with narcissism whether it's in your spouse, a co-worker, or even yourself.
Friends went though RTF's weeklong training. They received this audio on shame and shared it with us. I personally believe going through this info is WHY we have been able to make progress.
I would be remiss if I didn't mention we spent three years nurturing our spirit before we learned about all this soul/spirit shame stuff. I highly recommend that!!!!
Friends went though RTF's weeklong training. They received this audio on shame and shared it with us. I personally believe going through this info is WHY we have been able to make progress.
I would be remiss if I didn't mention we spent three years nurturing our spirit before we learned about all this soul/spirit shame stuff. I highly recommend that!!!!
Need to give a narcissist some room and space in their life? I liked the ideas in this!!
Glory, Shame, Self Justification and Narcissism This is an EXCELLENT set of audio teachings from one of the men who gets it best. You won't regret listening to this and will be very glad you did!
Here Dr Jim Wilder talks about the concept of grace in the old testament. This message is fundamental to our understanding if we are to make a difference with narcissism within our culture.
If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you canmove forward in your life.
In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.
Discover the four types of difficult parents:
- The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety
- The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone
- The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting
- The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory
Running on Empty is the first self-help book about Emotional Neglect: an invisible force from your childhood which you can't see, but may be affecting you profoundly to this day. It is about what didn't happen in your childhood, what wasn't said, and what cannot be remembered.
Do you sometimes feel as if you're just going through the motions in life? Are you good at looking and acting as if you're fine, but secretly feel lonely and disconnected? Perhaps you have a fine life and are good at your work, but somehow it's just not enough to make you happy.
If so, you are not alone. The world is full of people who have an innate sense that something is wrong with them. Who feel they live on the outside looking in, but have no explanation for their feeling and no way to put it into words. Who blame themselves for not being happier.
If you are one of these people, you may fear that you are not connected enough to your spouse, or that you don't feel pleasure or love as profoundly as others do. Perhaps when you do experience strong emotions, you have difficulty understanding or tolerating them. You may drink too much, or eat too much, or risk too much, in an attempt to feel something good.
In over twenty years of practicing psychology, many people have arrived in Jonice Webb's office, driven by the threat of divorce or the onset of depression, or by loneliness, and said, ""Something is missing in me.""
Running on Empty will give you clear strategies for how to heal, and offers a special chapter for mental health professionals. In the world of human suffering, this book is an Emotional Smart Bomb meant to eradicate the effects of an invisible enemy.
Instead of preaching what mothers ought to do, psychotherapist Naomi Stadlen explains what mothers already do in the course of any exhausting day's work. Drawing from countless conversations with hundreds of mothers spanning more than a decade, What Mothers Do provides lucid insight into the true experience of motherhood and answers the perennial question common to mothers everywhere: What have I done all day?
Stadlen's wise reflections, threaded throughout with the voices of real mothers, explore unsentimental reactions to motherhood-resentment, guilt, splintered identity, crippling inefficiency, and deadening fatigue. Yet the overriding sentiment is one of empowerment and wonder, as Stadlen illustrates how seemingly insignificant skills such as responding to a baby's colicky cry, being instantly interruptible, or soothing an overstimulated child to sleep profoundly contribute to an individual's socialization, self-worth, and curiosity. Remarkably perceptive and heartening, What Mothers Do will resonate with mothers everywhere in search of understanding and wisdom.
Is it hard for you to tell your emotionally immature parent the truth? Do you find yourself lying because you know they will be angry, pout, give you the silent treatment, etc? This story is a great depiction of what it's like to be an adult with an emotionally immature, narcissistic parent. The humor might not suit everyone's taste yet the subject is broached honestly.
To Train Up a Child, first published in 1994, began as a letter to a homeschool mother in answer to her question, How did you train your children to be so happy and obedient? Mike did not consider himself to be an author, nor did Debi possess the means or the knowledge to publish a book. They realized that it was a big subject that could not be put into a few pages, so they wrote a book. Friends and neighbors were consulted, gleaning their views and methods of child training. They analyzed how they were influenced by the traditions they inherited from their parents, and they looked at the methods that were unique to their family. Friends and members of their church periodically read and critiqued the manuscript as it grew to book size. Twenty one years later, To Train Up a Child has sold over 1.2 million copies in twelve languages. TTUAC has been on Amazon s best-seller list several times. This new book has added chapters and several updates. Mike and Debi have received tens of thousands of letters of gratitude and been approached by thousands of young people thanking them for their influence in the way they were raised their parents having implemented the principles expressed in TTUAC. Mike and Debi are humbled to have played a part in so many young people's lives. There has been no editing to modify their stance on spanking. To the contrary, due to the media attacks, they have expanded and strengthened their arguments for traditional, biblical child training. There are now more than a million TTUAC books circulating in the United States that will continue to stand for traditional, biblical parenting.
To Train Up a Child, first published in 1994, began as a letter to a homeschool mother in answer to her question, How did you train your children to be so happy and obedient? Mike did not consider himself to be an author, nor did Debi possess the means or the knowledge to publish a book. They realized that it was a big subject that could not be put into a few pages, so they wrote a book. Friends and neighbors were consulted, gleaning their views and methods of child training. They analyzed how they were influenced by the traditions they inherited from their parents, and they looked at the methods that were unique to their family. Friends and members of their church periodically read and critiqued the manuscript as it grew to book size. Twenty one years later, To Train Up a Child has sold over 1.2 million copies in twelve languages. TTUAC has been on Amazon s best-seller list several times. This new book has added chapters and several updates. Mike and Debi have received tens of thousands of letters of gratitude and been approached by thousands of young people thanking them for their influence in the way they were raised their parents having implemented the principles expressed in TTUAC. Mike and Debi are humbled to have played a part in so many young people's lives. There has been no editing to modify their stance on spanking. To the contrary, due to the media attacks, they have expanded and strengthened their arguments for traditional, biblical child training. There are now more than a million TTUAC books circulating in the United States that will continue to stand for traditional, biblical parenting.
Understand your psyche in a clear and comprehensive way, and resolve deep-seated emotional issues. Self-Therapy makes the power of a cutting-edge psychotherapy approach accessible to everyone. Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) has been spreading rapidly across the country in the past decade. It is incredibly effective on a wide variety of life issues, such as self-esteem, procrastination, depression, and relationship issues. IFS is also user-friendly; it helps you to comprehend the complexity of your psyche. Dr. Earley shows how IFS is a complete method for psychological healing that you can use on your own.
Self-Therapy is also helpful for therapists because it presents the IFS model in such detail that it is a manual for the method.
I recently had the pleasure of attending a series of webinars which go into wonderful detail about what maturity is, how to assess our own levels and how to help someone else grow up.
In order for you to here them too, I spent some time creating this post just for you!
Session 1 The Five Stages of Growing Up
Length: 1 hour 2 minutes
Click here to listen and gain an understanding of the five levels of maturity. Inso doing, you'll get equipped for the second webinar.
For a brief description of the maturity phases, click here to download the free pdf by Dr Wilder. The material is taken from Dr Wilder's excellent book.
Living with Men combines both the latest science and the oldest wisdom for training the control center in a man's brain for relationships. Immature men create leadership, parenting and relational failures, leaving deep pain in children, couples, families, churches, communities and themselves.
Session 2 Assessing and Developing My Maturity
Length: 59 minutes
Click here to listen as Dr. Wilder helps us learn to assess and develop our maturity in this webinar.
Session 3 Helping Others Mature
Length: 1 hour 2 minutes
In this webinar, Dr. Jim Wilder gives a foundational understanding of what it means to help others mature. Use this link to access the recording if you'd like to watch/hear it.
As a bonus, here is a link to a free ebook explaining the 19 relational brain skills which can help us mature and thrive.
Here are more materials you might like:
Joy is a banquet table to which we are all invited. The places are set, and the table is filled with the delightful aroma that satisfies our deepest longing for life-giving connections with God and with others. There is room at this table for everyone; young and old, weak or strong. So pull up a chair, we've been waiting for you! Jim Wilder, Ed Khouri, Chris Coursey, and Shelia Sutton guide us through the journey to joy. This is the real joy you've been seeking. The solutions and exercises in this book will teach you the essential skills needed to restore and grow joy with those around you. Join the beginning of a joyful revolution that can change your life, your community and the world. Get ready...Joy Starts Here.
Relational brain skills change our lives and transform our relationships. Learn the 19 critical relational skills needed for resilience, peace and joy in every family and community. The Bible and brain science combine to show us active solutions we ordinarily overlook for personal and corporate transformation. Transforming Fellowship tackles the central issue that is destroying the credibility of the Western Church. Our fellowship lacks the transforming power Jesus intended. Through Transforming Fellowship we each actively contribute part of Christ's character to one another. How we think, live and react changes at a basic brain level. Transforming Fellowship develops both deep love and relational skills. Transforming Fellowship is as deeply spiritual as it is practical.
The Life Model is a unifying approach to ministries of counseling, recovery, pastoral care, prayer ministry, deliverance, inner healing, child rearing, body life and health. Substance abuse recovery programs internationally are guided by the Life Model's five principles. Because the Life Model develops strong maturity, it is widely used as a church model, particularly where people must face suffering. Missions have adopted the Life Model for restoring hurt missionary children. Almost every major ministry dealing with trauma and abuse in the USA uses the Life Model as part of their teaching. This new version now includes study questions at the end of each chapter as well as many other bonuses. Written by James Friesen, E James Wilder, Anne Bierling, Rick Koepcke, and Maribeth Poole.
Having trouble with links? Please contact me right away and I'll troubleshoot. exuberantforlife@gmail.com
Having trouble with links? Please contact me right away and I'll troubleshoot. exuberantforlife@gmail.com
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